It Doesn't Hit You Until Now

     This post today is about the feelings others and myself have been experiencing lately.  Over the  past month I've had to say goodbye to many senior friends and just last week I said farewell to an exchange student who just got on her plane this morning.  Along with my goodbyes to my friends, there has also been a community farewell to a local 16 year old girl who was murdered two weeks ago and her body was just found this afternoon. 

     Last Sunday I went over to my exchange student's house.  She is from Japan and we have hung out for several of our school dances and halloween as well as hanging out at school.  We had known each other just enough to develop a good friendship with each other.  It may seem cheesy to some of you, but for her graduation gift I gave her a rock that I had painted as a cute little dinosaur.  It was perfect, a rock from America as well as being hand crafted personally by her new friend that she had made while visiting here.  My mom had driven me to the party, so she didn't want to wait around all day for me to say my goodbyes, so after we talked about our futures and school back in her country we wrapped up our conversations, exchanging skype ID's and holding onto each other forever it seemed.  It was kind of awkward, because over in Asia they don't show affection publicly that well, and having them hug us now was different.  (Sorry, I say them now because there are two Japanese exchange students but the other one is staying for awhile.)  Anyways, after hugging and saying bye, the students told me they wanted to walk me out to the car.  Right as my put out hand on the handles of the car, the one who is about to leave in a couple of days, starts to cry.  We hugged a whole bunch more and I never shed a tear once... I feel horrible, but the whole idea that the one was leaving in two days, never hit me.  Not until now... Now I'm getting all emotional and I just want to cry, knowing that I will never her again, unless I am lucky enough to get to over there or she comes back here for college.  I wish we could have hung out more and that she isn't bombarded with so much work she can't skype me often.  I wish her the best in her future, and I promise one day we will see each other. 

     On the other hand there is the missing body of a local girl.  She goes to my rival highschool and is a year younger than me.  She went missing June 2nd and some thought she had just run away again.  Well, as I sit here typing this all up I'm also watching the news and watching the breaking news reports which continue to have more and more information.  The story is, is that she was supposed to go to a grocery store and meet her friend there.  He was a year older than her.  Supposedly he came out to the police two weeks later, admitting to murdering her and telling police where he had buried her.  Her body is being excavated as I speak and has been located across from our public library.  He was a family friend!  Someone she had trusted!  In this town, I grew up with my family never really having to worry about such things.  It has been a decent town and through out the past year, the freaks are just slowly coming out more and more.  When I first heard about her missing, I just thought of it as "Oh, it sounds like she was angry at her parents and ran away."  Now hearing the news, it's heartbreaking, cruel, disturbing, repulsive and makes me want to shove the guy to the ground and kick in him the stomach over and over again.  I know it wouldn't solve anything and I know I have never even met the girl, but to think that she lived right in the area, I'm positive I have probably seen her before and to think that it just happened like that hurts.  I'm terrified now on who to trust and to even just walk the streets of my town.  Chaos is growing and I feel and people are resorting to murdering and harming others.  Why did God let the world come to this?  I understand that it's our punishment for what Adam and Eve did, but why do WE all have to suffer the consequences?  Why do the punishments have to be so cruel, harsh and devastating?  I can't stand all this war, hatred, bloodshed, rape and suicide to solve problems. 

      I just want you all tonight to keep the one girls family in your prayers.  I want you all to keep in mind, violence doesn't solve anything.  You nor anybody else deserves to end your life in such a way.  Think twice before your actions and don't let what other people say about you get to you.  They are just their stupid opinions and you who you are.  God made you that way and you are special and loved.  Be the individual that you are.